was the brainchild of a man born well before his time. In fact, nothing short of a genius. His erudite wit, scintillating charm and effervescent personality made him the most popular of men, somewhere between the gents bog and the public bar of the Queenie Boys Head. But enough about him, back to the plot.....

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, the door of the public bar crashed open. A harsh wind sent damp leaves of a tired autumn skidding across the floor. A dark figure filled the frame of the doorway, dripping cold pools of rain gathered up from the night's tireless squall. Silence. Not a pint twitched. Half finished profanities hung in the air. Smoke from a scrawny hand-rolled butt drifted on an abstract journey. Ebbsworth's eyes narrowed as he turned away from the Motor Cycle News. Tarq's shoulders snapped, tense, knowing it was his turn to buy a round and even the inimitable Coward was silent. All heads turned, waiting for the sombre figure to utter his first chilling words that would, eventually, go down in the anus of history.....

The mighty Schnakehips coming up with yet another instantly forgettable little gem.

was started in an attempt to relieve the tedium of breathing in and out. To give you, the great unwashed, the freedom to drift away on gossamer wings from the drudgery of your dull, repetitive existence and allow you to soar, high above our green and pleasant land. Ah well, the best laid plans of mice and men, blah, blah, blah.....

N.B. For strangers and foreign types, this is a totally self indulgent web site. So, if you find yourself lost or you haven't got a clue what we're on about...tough titty !